Dreams.
I used to dream alone, or with my mother, or with my girlfriends Joella and LeeAnna.
Back then, the Deal girls and I dreamt that we would further our lives as musicians, or that we would purchase the family youth center in Joseph and make it into a big house that we would share, excepting the kitchen, because LeeAnna and I simply cannot share a kitchen. Also, no boys allowed. The rules began to bend regarding the boys, however, when LeeAnna decided that her boyfriend (now husband) should be let in and allowed that Zane should too.
Well now that I've let a boy into our house, I have begun to envision my life with him, my new dreaming
partner.
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| That windy wedding day |
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| Ready to start dreaming! |
We have our own little list of dreams and goals, some of which have been crossed off the list, and some towards which we continue to work.
Some crossed-off things..
One dream fulfilled is that we were married June of 2012, on his parents ranch in Cove, Oregon, on a very windy day surround by our friends and family.
We also wanted a home to share exclusively where we could be alone and not have any people around ever.Well, except that a cat had been on my list a very long time.. It hasn't been until our third move that we finally adopted a grumpy introverted homebody kitten into the Gray family. Now it's us on a Friday night, watching favorite shows and splitting Chinese takeout. Even Gwen watches sometimes. This is perfect.
We've had Christmas trees and a garden and a dishwasher and gone to the coast. We even went and saw Wicked, thanks to my mom and stepdad.
Still on the list..
When we first met I didn't want to have children. Now my fear is that it won't ever happen and of missing out. But one major dream is to have littles and be a family. As soon as we can (after paying off dentist, getting more dental work done, paying off taxes, paying more dentist, doing heavy metal detox because of previous dentist, doing Chinese cleanse on the instruction of our super homeopath dr..) after all that.. I'm anxiously waiting to jump on that train. I'm getting discouraged because that may all take a while. But that will just have to mean living engaged in the present, and not, as Rapunzel puts it, "waiting for my life to begin".
Travel. I've never been anywhere outside of Washington, Oregon, and Idaho-- and I'm 23 this November.
I don't want to see more of the same though (mountains, trees, lakes). Instead, I want to see things I've never seen in real time before-- white sand, clear blue water, tropical trees and tropical fruit in it's own environment. I love aquatic mammals.
I also love cats, including those big ones I've never seen before.. Tigers, cheetahs..some are just big versions of my Gwen and I want to meet them. Also kangaroos.
Speaking of dinner, I'm so bored with food. It is all the same, especially fried. I want to go somewhere where the food is different. Another small dream is to eat at a really fancy restaurant for dinner, the kind where you get really dressed up like penguins.
We had a garden at our house, we live in an apt now, but a garden is one of our favorite things and we will be doing that when we move again.
Dreams.. Marriage, Cats, Christmas trees, new food, dog, travel, new home, garden, friendship, hats winter coats and boots on Gray children, sandy beaches, dishwasher, broadway, home birth.. There are other dreams I won't share right now. Maybe when they happen I will.
But for tonight, keep dreaming.
Ashley
